Speaking in tongues

I was looking forward to learning Spanish in Honduras. Little did I know that, in Utila, most people speak English. Well, sort of English, and also a sort of Spanish. But, they do understand each other, and that should be what language is for. So, does it really matter that their grammar is poor, that they cannot spell if their lives depended on it, and that their vocabulary consists of large number of four-letter words?

This disregard for the language rules and for the beauty of well-constructed sentences, which surely makes poor Shakespeare turn in his grave, is a global phenomenon. We now mostly communicate using internet, and internet is an international playground. It is evidently creating its own language, some sort of retarded Esperanto ( an artificial language created in hope that it would replace all languages), vaguely based on English. Most of the web content is created by non-native English speakers, who produce the content in writing sweatshop factories for ridiculously small amounts of money. I know, I compete against them for freelance writing jobs. I am not a language snob. I worked all over the world, and learned many languages to a very poor level, just so that I would be able to communicate. So, I am willing to give allowances for the benefit of global communication and sharing information. But, things are getting out of control. Try this, for example, it is an excerpt from a blog on home security: "The first reason that this system is established in your mind to create. Once you know your> House is safe, so you will feel safe inside or outside your home. Do not worry about unwanted threats because you are at home protection." Are we communicating, or what? I am not blaming poor writers in Pakistan or India, who are trying to make a few bucks. I blame employers, who are willing to accept this appallingly poor level of writing in order to save money. There are people who write well, even in India or Pakistan, but they value their knowledge and would not work for peanuts. The consequences are far reaching. Our kids do not read books any more, they read blogs. They will learn this miserable English, thinking that it is fine. It is not fine. It is very unfine. Or maybe I am an intellectual snob, and what is happening to the language is the future and, very soon, while I am bitching from my jungle, people will start using emoticons instead of words to communicate.
Until next bitching session,
Your Marina
Ecohouseutila

How to do nothing and do it well - move to Utila and learn from experts

Doing nothing is a sin. In Christianity it is called ‘slothfulness’ and it is seriously frowned upon. Doing nothing means that you are not being a productive and successful member of the society. Operative word being ‘successful’, not happy. To be respected and admired, you have to be successful. You have to work and not waste too much time on idle pastime like sleeping, walking, reading, or just doing nothing.

Why do we feel guilty when we do nothing, when we are just sitting in the garden watching leaves rustle? We feel like we should be doing something. Our entire civilization is based on work. When we are on vacation, we cannot relax because we are not used to doing nothing.

Of course, this is not universal. This is mostly North American invention, and the disease spread to some circles of societies in other parts of the word. Otherwise, other cultures are doing much better. Italians and French have two hour-lunches, sipping their espressos for hours while watching beautiful girls or boys pass by. Latinos invented siesta – they take two hours break during the hottest part of the day and do nothing. Asians, especially Taoist and Buddhist, meditate and in general spend large amount of time contemplating things like their navels, or cherry blossoms and rock gardens. Africans will watch white mountaintops, or wildebeest migration, for hours.

So, what is wrong with us? Why do we have to travel around the world to learn from other cultures that doing nothing is, well, not doing nothing. It is part of normal spiritual life to contemplate, reflex, let senses do the work without the mind interfering. All we have to do is accept that we need spiritual life. It is not as easy as you think. Spiritual life brings to mind spirits and flaky aunt Thelma and her crystals. Spiritual is not part of Western culture. But, it better become soon, because we are burning out.

What kind of life this is: we work 35 hours a week (if we are not lawyers) mostly to make money. Then we use that money to buy cars, clothes, makeup, computer, Blackberry, briefcase - and who knows what else – in order to work. We spend so much time preparing for work and resting from work and thinking about work that we do not have any time to live. And then we die. So, we better learn to be idle from time to time, as a sort of interim period. Come to Utila and learn from the best.

Yours, slothfully,

Marina Ecohouseutila

How to make money from your hammock in Utila, or freelancing rocks

This is not the advice on how to make a lot of money, or how to become rich. I would not know a first thing about it. It is about how to make just enough money so that you do not have to worry about the price of baleadas, or how to pay your last tab at Tranquila. I have to thank my friend Nicole for discovering the delights of freelancing and for infecting Utila with it. There is a lot of talent on the island, we just did not know how to cash it. What can you do with the Masters Degree in Sustainable Development on the island? We also have architects, accountants, professors of various sciences, former Microsoft staff, engineers, and many other highly trained people who left their diplomas with their winter clothes in the storage wherever they came from.
So, what is required to become a money-earning freelancer? First, you have to actually have some skills. Preferably computer-related skills. Translations, writing, blogging, web design, graphic design, programming, and everything related to those, are easily done via internet, anywhere.
I have to warn you that it pays peanuts. Indians and Pakistanis are destroying the market by accepting ridiculous prices for their skills. They probably can live on $1 a day, so they accept to be paid $1 for a four-page essay, but we cannot. Not even in Utila. Fortunately, we can compete with quality, and there are still some, although not many, employers who demand quality (and can recognize it when they see it). Check out Freelancer.com, Elance. com and Guru.com, they do not require any advance payment. They charge percentage from your earnings, once you have some.
You realize now that you also have to have a computer, and internet connection is useful, but not vital. You can always order a cup of coffee and sit at the Driftwood and write your stuff. You might have to pay them a percentage one day, but by then you will probably be able to afford Frankie's $60 per month for the internet connection.
The best part of freelancing is that you can accept as many or as few assignments as you like. There are many jobs advertised as 'full time online help', requiring you to sit at the computer 8 hours a day and be someone's virtual secretary. If I wanted 9-5 job, I would have stayed in Canada and used my expensive education. The goal is to work on your terms, when you feel for it. There are days when I work whole day, or night, and others when I just want to play with my new kitten, or drink with Alabama or with Shane and Kirstin. We come back to what brought us to Utila: freedom to choose our way of life.
How much money can you make freelancing? Probably as much as you want, depending on how much you want to work. I am happy if I make $120 a week, that covers all the dog and cat food, my food, rum, coke, Belmont and occasional visit to Babaloo, my favorite watering hole, where my friend Dado bitches about the state of affairs in the world in general and serves decent Cuba Libre, which is posh name for rum and coke. You can have beer too if you insist.
Talk to you again soon
Your Marina, Ecohouseutila

Hit by a scorpion at 4 am on a small island - what to do?

Waking up at 4 am from a sharp pain is no way to wake up. It messes with our head. And that head, for some inexplicable reason, was sure that the pain was from a scorpion bite. I turned the light on, shook the sheets, and, sure enough, a plump, yellowish scorpion wiggled out. Until it met my slipper. Mind you,I am an environmentalist and do not kill any bugs unless in danger, but scorpions have really bad rep. I took the photo of the offender, or what was left of it, in case I had to choose a right anti-venom. Yeah, right. I live in Utila, off the northern coast of Honduras. Quite off the northern coast. About an hour off. Even looking for a doctor in Utila, at 4 am, was not an option. Waking up Dr. John at that time might be more dangerous than a scorpion bite. So I did what any reasonable Utilian would do: I made myself a drink and sat on the porch to watch the sunrise. Poured some rum on the bite, just in case. I also did what any technology-addicted Westerner would do: I turned the computer on and Googled Honduran scorpions. I found out that they can kill chihuahua, what was bad for chihuahuas, but not my immediate problem. I also learned that one does not die from the scorpion venom in Honduras, what was actually all I needed to know. But, curiosity won, and rum was doing its thing, I was feeling much more relaxed, so I also learned that the pain and swelling on the bite site disappears in few hours. In some extreme cases people feel numbness in limbs, tingling, and in extreme cases, eyes rolling and respiratory problems. None of which I felt, so I went to sleep. Lesson learned: 1.When in the tropics, check for scorpions under your sheets, in your shoes, under the towel and in all other dark places; 2. turn the light on when you go to the bathroom at night, so that you do not step on them by accident; 3. Never, ever be without rum.